The Guatemala Home Court Advantage

With all do respect to the marvels of modern architecture American basketball`s march into the 21st century, it seems as though there's a sterility and sameness to all of these state-of-the-art arenas that have been popping up across the North American landscape.


Thank God for Guatemala!!!!!!

Most basketball players can tell you of legendary teams that could use the advantage of their home court take a slight edge over their opponents.

Examples:

Duke has the Cameron Crazies and all of their obnoxious, sly, wit. (sorry Maria)

In 1986, Larry Bird and Friends were 50-1 at the "Gah-den" during the regular season and playoffs using several infamous design flaws to their advantage, such as knowing where the dead spots were in the parquet floor, and that the visitors a locker room was the size of a shoebox and hotter than the Puerto Barrios.

Well, Hoops Sagrado teams have been the victims of some amazing home court advantages over the years.

In 2002, we played in the Xela Military base against a military team. At halftime Hoops was up by 7 when armed soldiers were placed at each of the corners of the court. (We won by 2 and got out of their in a hurry)

In 2003, San Mateo Ixtantan 800 hundred fans came out to support the local team many of them sat on top of the 500 year old church and rained bricks of firecrackers on the court and on us during the game.

In 2004, the Hoops Sagrado Knights played at the gym in Salcaja against our arch-rivals Xela in a game that featured a halftime show of an Evangelical Karate team that smashed boards that were on fire (the power of Christ compels you!!) and a mid game replacement of the ball after we hit 5 straight three pointers. Not a big deal….. other than the new ball was one of rubber ones you get for ordering the large pizza during the NCAA tournament from Pizza Hut.

In 2005, at the Cantel Tournament (which should be our home court) Team Molar from the Pacific Coast had their fans and wives sit on our bench and yelled at us the entire game. Things those nice young ladies and their children shouldn’t say in any language……and again this was on our bench!!! When we brought it to the ref’s attention he just laughed.

Last year after a 4 hour flight and 5 hour bus ride across the country to Huehuetenango we were forced to play against the hometown team at 1am in an international tournament. Hoops took an early lead when suddenly the power went out. When the game resumed a Mam (Mayan language group) radio station embedded themselves behind our bench like Michael Ware in Iraq. The reporters continually asked us questions in broken Spanish about our plan of attack against the unbeatable heroes of the State of Huehue…..all HAIL!!!

So far this year the best Home Court Advantage we have seen is the gym in Chichicastenango, or should I say the indoor farmer’s market that at night functions as the Pro-team’s gym. Hoops Sagrado players packed up stands, shoveled up fruit goop (I hope it was fruit) from the floor, and swept up some sort of seeds before the game tipped-off.

A giant metal box straight out of an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 or Get Smart was brought out of storage and set up to a elaborate electric scoreboard system that hung up high in the rafters. The scoreboard kept track of points and team fouls, but it had no clock so the time was kept on an old school Timex thus keeping both teams in the dark as to the time left in the game. Three minutes at the end of the game seem to be more like 45 seconds and the possession arrow was a roll of masking tape that was moved from one side of the giant box to the other.

At one end of the floor the backboard was fixed to the wall, making fast break lay-ups a thing of beauty --- like a human crash up derby. At the other end was a curb that shadowed the baseline. That rolled ankle will teach you to step out of bounds, gringo.

Chichi used the missed portions of goop on as off the ball picks sending Hoops players to the floor like Jeff McGuiness in the 1995 ACC Tournament.

Ouch Kendra!!!!

Top that with some of the most original referees in the history of basketball that gave the Hoops Sagrado Knights 3 technical fouls.

First, for having players on the floor during a timeout. ¿Que? And that Tech was called by the scorekeeper. Who knew the scorekeeper could do that?

Second, for throwing an elbow while alone in the back-court (Aniekan). ¿En serio?

And finally, for rolling your eyes (Victor) at a foul call.

When asked about the calls the Chichi referee keep telling us Este no es la NBA, gringo.

Bienvenidos a Basketball de Guatemala!!!!!